Shane Allison interview

When did you first start writing and what did you wish to communicate?

I was sixteen when I wrote my first poem, and really started to take it seriously when I saw that I had a gift for it. Before that, I was always into writing. Essays were my thing. I had won an essay contest for a gay and lesbian newsletter where I got a $25 gift certificate from the local gay and lesbian bookstore here in Tallahassee. To be so young and to discover that you can do this thing that no one else at that age can do, was a powerful thing for me. I felt like some kind of super mutant. Some kids at that age take their gifts for granted and don't follow through with them. Especially the students at the school I went to where there potential wasn't really nurtured by parents or teachers. I was a loner in school with no friends, so writing became my best friend and boyfriend. I know that shit sounds pathetic, but it's true. I was always a victim of bullying, so art of any kind was my outlet. I've always been into making and creating shit. I remember loving art class in grade school and hated that I wasn't exposed to a lot of it as much as I should have been. I didn't start off writing erotic poetry. I wrote the typical depressing stuff as a teenager. Poems about killing myself and sappy ass love poems about straight boys. That's where I was at that time and no one knew about it. Teenagers can be so sensitive and high strung thinking that every little wrong that doesn't go right is the end of the damn world. That's the way I was. I wasn't trying to communicate anything to society, but to myself. I was a fat, ugly gay depressed kid who had a lot of shit on his mind, and the only way I could release it, was through poetry.

It seems like the writings of gay men, when it comes to the subject of sex, are usually pretty frank and unguarded--especially when compared to straight erotica or even lesbian writers. Do you have any philosophies about this?

I believe it's another way of coming out of the closet and saying to the world...I'm here and queer, get used to it. As gay men, we have a lot to say, a lot of shit we want to get off our chests. Weather it be about sex, violence or discrimination. Writing about this stuff is a way of empowering ourselves, while at the same time sending the message saying that there is no fucking way we're going to let motherfuckers push us back in the closet. In my experience, some consider my work shocking. Of course, these comments have all been made by heteros. From where I'm standing, I don't consider gay erotica, or erotica of any sort shocking. But then again, I'm a highly sexual guy. I like watching others have sex more than participating in the act itself. Straight, gay, lesbo, etc... I totally hate that fucking word. It's shocking to others to read poems and stories about male on male sex because people are not often exposed to that sort of thing. I get that, but come on...don't act like you've never heard the word cock or pussy before. Gay erotica, when I started reading it at 19, was so taboo. Anthologies, poetry and novels were being written, but as far as being displayed in the stores, they were stuffed in the far back regions of the store on the shelf where people were made to feel embarrassed or ashamed for looking at such material. This was only in the nineties when I first discovered erotica. I remember seeing these books that were very trashy looking in nature with the white guy smiling with his perfect, glistening torso with the six pack. The books had cheesy titles like, "Raw Recruits" to state the obvious of what the book was about. I used to hate those books for the fact they were just unappealing and trashy. It's somewhat different today, but not too much. Some publishers who cater to gay erotic literature, still produce books with that same white figure with the perfect six pack on the covers of books, but the writing is more quality and less trashy. In my opinion, the gay community is very lily white in existence. If you look at many of the magazines that cater to a gay audience, you will see that all of them will have a muscular white guy on the cover in order to sell mags. Most of gay erotic literature tends to produce the same scenarios that have been written time and time again.

Was there any writer or book that served as a turning point in the writing style?

Going back to anthologies: Gay poetry anthologies was that turning point for me. With the $25 gift certificate I won from the essay contest, the first ever gay and lesbian anthology of poetry I bought was "In Our Time: Gay and Lesbian Poetry." I was exposed to such greats as Allen Ginsberg, Assoto Saint, Eessex Hemphill, Dorothy Allison, Walta Borawski and so many others. Talk about fucking liberating. I still cherish that book today. The work is so honest, raw and real. These were people before me were living the life and taking the bumps and bruises that comes along with being gay and lesbian in America. Gay anthologies have always had a large influence on my work. It's because of gay poets, I am where I am, and what I am today. They have given me the strength and power system that I needed to write the work I am so freely able to produce. These days I'm writing a lot of fiction. Erotic fiction. I'm discovering writers in the genre of gay erotica that I am beginning to love and admire in the same way I admired poets such as Langston Hughes and Ginsberg during my early days of reading and writing poetry. Thomas Roache, Jameson Currier, Greg Wharton, a poet by the name of Tsaurah Litsky out of New York, I love, and so many others. I like a lot of spoken word poetry and poets like Regie Cabico and Maggie Estep. I fucking live for Denise Duhamel. She has become the latest influence on my work. She makes you feel like you could write about anything. She takes a lot of what we take for granted, and uses that. I'm also reading Anne Waldman and Ted Berrigan right now. They get me hungry for poetry everytime.I like Sonia Sanchez and Lucille Clifton, too. So folks don't have to worry about me switching from poetry to fiction, 'cuz I'm a switch hitter for both. Besides, I'm a long ways away from being a good writer of fiction. I forgot to mention one more artist who has been a powerful influence on me. Madonna. Her early work really made a difference as far as who I wanted to be. If she wasn't going to take anybody's shit, I wasn't going to either.

What is your favorite magazine that you've been in, and which magazine would you like to break into?

I've always wanted to write for Andy Warhol's Interview, because I dig reading about up and coming artists, but I can take it or leave it these days. There are better magazines out there being produced. As for literary magazines, I like New York Quarterly, Gargoyle, Rattapallax, Fence, Open City. There was this one magazine I used to read in New York. More like worship it. Long Shot is the name of it. To me, that magazine was the soapbox for lower west, and eastside poets. It was a magazine of great intensity in every way you could imagine. I like magazines with intensity. I like to read work that's going to light a fire under my ass. I always look for the not so ordianry in writing these days. I like reading work written in a way that's never been done before, or has been done before, but reinvented in a sense. I've been writing a shitload of list poems for months now, and I'm finding out that like art in general, it can be written and re-written. Invented and reinvented over and over again. I've had great luck with online zines. Because of them, I've been able to communicate my stories to people I felt I wasn't ready to do when I was that lonely teen. People have been so great to me in the small press. More than the mainstream editors who just mail me little slips of form rejection notices. I wasn't sure about them in the beginning as far as sending work off to them, but the work is a lot more accessible to people than say...hard back lit mags who charge bullshit prices to read work that might be otherwise obscure and boring anyway. If it's not run out of some staunchy English Department at a college, where money can afford to be lost, it's a losing battle, and many lit magazines, end up going under unfortunetely. But I thank every fucking magazine, newsletter, pamphlet, broadside, anthology and e-zine I've been in, and continue to be apart of.

You've lived in Florida and New York. What do you like about those places?

I don't like Florida, or the south in general all that much. For one thing, I love big cities. Cities I can get lost in. New York is good for just that purpose. Florida has great weather, but like many southern states, it's very racist and anti fucking everything it seems. It doesn't pay to be gay and black down here. I was nervous and scared shitless when I moved to New York. It was everything I imagined and more. I had a blast. It's truly the greatest city in the world. It's a great city to be an artist and writer in. People really embrace you there as a writer and poet. There are tons of venues for people to show and read their work. I didn't go to as many places to read as I wanted, because I was broke half the damn time, but it was quite an experience. It's a city I will always love over any other because it was the first.

Anywhere else you'd want to live?

I went to Chicago for about a week back in '98, so I would like to revisit the Windy City. California might be the next place I will lay my hat. And of course I want to return to New York. Indefinitely, most likely. Others include: Canada, New Orleans, Atlanta, Oregon, Las Vegas because it's city no would ever think about moving to and staying in longer than a weekend to gamble. I could live in these places, but their not the Big Apple. I like New York's grittiness and its attitude. I love that dirty town!!!!!!

What do you think about the gay marriage controversy? Do you think you could ever get married?

I'm not against it, but I'm not for it, either. To me it's just another attempt at wanting to be accepted and treated as equals. I don't think that will ever really happen. Marriage is such an overrated, heterosexual ritual. I'm not for it, but I do stand up with those who want to tie the knot. I personally have no interest in getting married, but I'm not against those who want to get married. I don't think I'll ever get married because of my belief system with that. I'm just not interested in something like that right now. Besides, it takes two people to get married. I have to find my other half first.

Do you ever do readings? If so, what are some of the highlights from your performances?

Not as many as I would like. I'm a tad shy, but when I get going, i'm cool. I did a few open mics in New York. I read at the famous Nuyorican Cafe, and that was great. I was very nervous about it, but it went well. It was a goal of mine before even landing on New York soil.

What's a dream date for you?

To sit down with a guy and a nice white wine at a Fondue restaurant eating cheese and chocolate, and just laugh all night. I like to laugh. If he can make me laugh, he's at the top of the list.